I celebrated Talk Like a Pirate Day a tide early wi’ a crew o’ young sea dogs in th’ local library. Th’ wee ones be skeptical o’ me piratin’ ways, an’ accused me o’ bein’ a pretend pirate. They pointed t’ me utter lack o’ a swashbucklin’ ship as evidence. I claimed that since I be a pirate any vehicle I be captainin’ be a pirate ship, includin’ me beat up Subaru. They then pointed ou’ that I kept handin’ them me hook hand so I could turn th’ pages o’ th’ book, an’ I had t’ grant them that point.
They be an enthusiastic crew, none th’ less. They listened t’ stories, learned proper shipmate phrases, shouted them wi’ enthusiasm, an’ sang sea shanties at th’ tops o’ the’r lungs. T’ end ‘t all, Captain Joni helped th’ crew make proper treasure boxes, so that they could hide booty in style.